Work, Life, Passion - The Balancing Act
Before you even start to lecture me... I know what I said in episode six. I KNOW! I said I'd do better. That I'd get my shit together and post more. That everything was fine and I would work it out. Well, tough titty, I went on a hiatus I suppose. But not on purpose.
And the more I pondered on all the reasons why I stopped posting, (Work, life, lack of time, lack of sleep, just tired af in general) the more I realized I still had a deep passion for this. The more it hit me in the head that I started this for a larger purpose. The more I had to stop complaining about why I couldn't do it, and remember that I could, and I did... So, what the hell have I been waiting for?
Where has the time gone
The popular cliche to there never being enough time in the day is so fucking true...
Let me first confess a few things. I want to say I'm busy as shit all the time. And realistically, throughout the week, I pretty much am with work. I'm there typically 8-9 hours a day, ten on Fridays. My job is stressful sometimes as well. As you should know, I'm very passionate about what I do, I'm fairly competitive, and consistent productivity equals success. Being a bank Branch Manager, I not only manage my branch's business, but I manage all the damn personalities in my branch too. With all that being said, I spend about 45 - 50 hours a week, out of the 168 total, at work alone. Then, I have a family also. I swear if I just had an ounce; a period dot of the amount of energy my two year old son has, I'd be invincible. Typical domestic stuff needs to be done; house chores, parental ordeals, adulting in general, etc. So when I get home, maybe around 6 if i'm lucky, I'm using up about four or five more hours in my day to make sure home life is situated. Plus, I have to sleep sometimes so lets just say I average about six hours of sleep, because if I don't I'm definitely cranky af. So let's round that up to about 55 hours which leaves me at 105 hours, out the week... GONE.
63 hours, give or take, is what I'm left with. Now, if you look at that from a more optimistic perspective, that seems like plenty of time, right? Two days and some change where I should have time to get extracurricular shit done. Well, we haven't taken in account for the miscellaneous hours spent doing things like commuting, showering, eating, social media scrolling, sitting in silence because dammit I need some silence, and all that other shit. Plus, sometimes I like to do hood rat shit with my friends, or go play softball on Sundays, take my kid to the park or just not feel obligated to do anythings at all. And by the time it all adds up... I gots zero time fam.
I say all that to say that everyone is in the never endless cycle of the balancing act; spinning plates, as an old district manager would tell me. And the truth is, some plates are going to fall the hell off. It is what it is. But in that balancing act, you have to remember your 'Why'. Why is this important to you? Why do you have to do it? Why is it necessary? Why do you care? Assessing these questions ultimately helps you 'find time' to balance your passion in the mix. Get up, stay late, do one more thing; if it's your thing, prioritize your things! And the best part about it is, you are the boss of it all. You are your own manager, your own motivator. It's ok to have moments when your plates fall, but its up to you when you pick them back up, and its ok to pick them back up to start over, to continue, to whatever. Don't sell yourself short to the amazing things you can do and what potential you've yet to reach.
Commit to yourself
To me:
I'm proud of you for all you do for others; it is perfectly ok to put yourself first.
Never submit to failure, somethings are out of your control but you can determine your beginning and ending.
Instantaneous success, or your definition of it, may not always be realistic. Cut yourself some slack when things don't go immediately as planned.
Don't give up on yourself, on what you what, or what you've yet to achieve.
To you:
Thank you for your continued support, seen or unseen, acknowledged or unacknowledged.
I hope this was relatable, we all have a story, a path, a destiny and our walks may not be the same, but can have similarities. Be inspired.
Pay it forward. Someone else may need to hear this. Affirm them. Small gestures can make the biggest impact.
I am recommiting to you, whoever you are. My purpose is to reach you. And if I have now, or later, then I've done my job and succeed in my passion!